26 Apr Money Talk Cards (Available Now!)
The Money Talk Cards are designed to facilitate and support conversations about money with your friends, family, partner, or larger groups. Each deck features 52 unique cards.
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About the Money Talk Cards
“Money Talks!” This phrase, as far back as Euripides, has eloquently expressed the power of money to get things done–in business, politics, commerce and even romance. Unfortunately, once “Money Talks”, the conversation usually ends. Money “closes the deal” conversationally speaking and we shut up. We live in a money-soaked culture and it silences the rest and best of us. It’s time to do something about that.
The purpose of these Money Talks is to break the silence about our relationship with money and open up a new conversation. The 52 questions in the MoneyTalk deck (derived from Your Money or Your Life 2018 edition) are open ended, carefully crafted gateways into fascinating explorations.
Money Talks are deceptively simple, yet they can change your life. A few guidelines, a potent topic or question, a process that lets everyone have a turn.
In Money Talks there are no experts because it’s not about fixing ourselves, it’s about understanding ourselves as people caught in a consumerist money culture that may feed our greed but not our real needs for being connected, respected and protected.
Following are suggestions for three possible scenarios, but once Once you get the hang of Money Talks you can adapt to many circumstances, but for now here are suggestions for three possible scenarios:
Process for journaling (1 person):
Write the money question you want to consider on the top of a page and then closing your eyes, taking a breath and inviting your wiser self to write an answer – and write for 5 minutes (or more) non-stop. You can repeat this with another question – or the same one – as often and long as you like.
Process for a dialog (2 people):
This might be a more personal and even intimate circumstance, as perhaps with your partner, best friend or teenager. To signal a shift from small talk to money talk, give yourselves half a minute before speaking. Then follow the guidelines below.
Process for small groups (3-9 people):
Designate a host (a participant who volunteers to start and end the conversation on time, and to read the agreements). Open with each person around the circle having a minute or two to speak to on the topic without interruption or feedback, and to close the conversation with another round of each person speaking for an uninterrupted minute or two about what they are taking away.
Between, have a lively conversation, keeping in mind the agreements and staying in curiousity rather than driving for answers. Stay respectful, inquisitive and open. Avoid drifting into small talk, arguments, put downs and anyone hogging the conversation.
Don’t try a Money Talk on the fly. Give it at least half an hour for two people – more with more people.
Process for larger groups (10-hundreds of people)
A leader has everyone pick a card. You can have a conversation with the person next to you – each asking the other the question on their card – or mill around until the leader says to stop in front of someone to ask your questions. You can do this milling and stopping 3 or more times so you collect 3 different answers for your question and get to answer 3 different questions. The leader can suggest during the milling that the first round is your friends/colleagues/attendees in the room, the second round represents family and friends and the third round evokes bosses and strangers and coworkers. Debrief afterwards, asking for insights, discoveries, etc.
Rules for Money Talks:
We suggest using the following guidelines and tips to have deeper Money Talks. These suggestions are adapted from the Conversation Café Process, a low-bar entry dialogue method now used around the world wherever by people who gather to make sense of the events of the day or the big questions of our times.
No shame, no blame: keep a non-judgmental attitude, as best you can, towards yourself and others. This doesn’t mean everyone has to be polite or agree – just open to other points of view.
Confidentiality: what’s said in the group stays in the group.
Presence: arrive on time, stay to the end and give full attention to everyone who speaks.
Brevity: go for honesty and depth but keep things concise so everyone has a fair amount of air time.
Commercial Free Zone: do your marketing, advice-giving, and lengthy lectures elsewhere and else-when. We don’t come to be fixed. We come to learn about ourselves, one another and our world.
Use the questions on the MoneyTalk cards or craft an open-ended question anyone can answer from their own experience. To take it deeper say, “Tell me more about that” or “What lead you to that point of view?” Your tone matters. Ask in a neutral, not snarky, way.
To explore the broader context, ask, “How has society influenced your answers?”
In fact, your topic can be just one word – Money, Work, Meaning, Purpose, Priorities, Simplicity, Stuff, Debt, Borrowing, Lending, Tithing, Taxes, Insurance and so on – followed by three questions:
What do you think about it?
What do you feel about it?
What are you doing about it?
Posing a question this way gives everyone a point of entry. Some people are thinkers, some feelers and some do-ers.
In the word “culture” is the word “cult.” If we keep a cult of silence about our relationships with money we all stay in the grip of that shame and blame, more-is-better-and-its-never-enough, greed-is-good, whoever-dies-with-the-most-toys-wins story we’re taught.